Is this Nutcracker Magical?

Like most girls, I spent many years of my childhood dreaming about my future husband. I had long lists of qualities that I thought were necessary. These changed frequently, depending on what I considered most important.

My list spanned everything from physical appearance, personal interests, even acceptable jobs.

And then I grew up.

And I learned that men are not what fairy tales and novels create them to be. Most of those books are written by women, and the guys have a decidedly feminine flair.

Being around men taught me that most men were much less like women than they were..... men.

I  realized that most men are simply normal in appearance, had average jobs, and had masculine interests that I didn't always understand.

I looked around and had a "Come to Jesus" moment.

Most of the girls I know were also looking for the "Perfect Man."

This became especially obvious as I hung around girls who fell into more conservative circles. They were not only looking for the man who looked amazing, did a cool sounding job, and had similar interests, they needed one who was extremely religious, had a house and 15 year goals, and a family who uniformly thought they were the best thing that happened to their son.

These women waited far into their twenties, even thirties, not because they wanted to, or because nobody asked them out, but because nobody was ever good enough for them. They were searching for a man who was as strong a Christian as their favorite preacher, AND looked like their favorite movie star AND had an impressive job. Preferably as a doctor or pastor. Definitely not a pest controller, police office, lineman, EMT, soldier, or diesel mechanic. These are jobs, that, statistically, are both underappreciated and underpaid.

None of these are bad things. However, we can't have everything. Which begs the question----- What are we willing to sacrifice on?

Because, the fact is that women who want to get married can't afford to be picky anymore....... there really are less men. No, sweet friend, it's not your imagination.

The average church is 61% women, 39% men.

The joke goes that the Christian men are like parking spaces-- either taken or handicapped.

On college campuses, the men to women ratio is about 58% girls, 42% guys. And it's worse in Christian college campuses, were it often approaches two gals a one guy.
On any given Sunday, there are 13 million more women in church than men.
Most non-pastoral church employees are women.
This site gives the nitty gritty details on the gender gap.

Women are 54% more likely to attend a small group at church.

There are 88 unmarried men 18 and older for every 100 women.

Plus, if you're Missouri Synod Lutheran like me, you have another problem. The LCMS is top heavy. 24 percent of the church is made of senior citizens, compared to 15 percent of the normal population, and only 17 percent are between 19 and 30, compared to 22 percent of the normal population. Only a few years ago, it was only 10%. Average age of an LCMS Lutheran? 47. The LCMS is 53% women, 47% men..... better than average, but how many are young and unmarried? Well.... a whopping 59% of LCMS members are MARRIED! Only 15% have never been married..... and that's over all age groups.

So, no matter how often guys try to turn this around and say they can't find any good Christian women...... the fact is, there's about two women to every man in the average church. And a disproportionate number of those men are already married.

All this to say....
I've stopped looking for Mr. Right.

Now, I'm looking only for a man who fills a few carefully crafted MUST haves--
1) Is he Lutheran? Maybe Catholic?
2) Does he have a decent job?
3) Does he respect me?
4) Do I like being around him?
5) Does he value kids?
6) Is he devoted to being faithful to me forever?
7) Is he going to work on our marriage forever?


I've stopped caring about what he looks like, where he works, or even where he came from.

All I want is a good guy who loves Jesus and the liturgy of the church. That's  all I dare to die on.

Because, let's face it. Men aren't like the men in the stories. Neither are women.

Fo' Truth!