A Letter to My Youth Leader

Hey.

I know you don't really know me that well... despite what you think.

I know that when you invited me to the last College Youth get together, you were trying to encourage me...

But you failed.
Just like you're failing all of us.

If I was going to watch a Disney Cartoon, I would do it with the blinds drawn, and  not tell anyone.

Watching it at a 'church' event?

That just doesn't make sense.

When the target group is 18-25?

I'm still scratching my head.

Let me tell you a little secret:

There's one way to get us youth to grow up, be adults, and turn into strong Christians that can change the world and make the devil tremble. Or, at least manage to stay out of jail, keep themselves sober, marry a normal person, stay married, raise halfway decent kids, die in our beds of old age, and keep the church alive for another generation.

That would be this:
Treat us like the adults we want to be.
I don't want to hear another word about how immature we are.
When you finally get around to having get togethers for us, to deal with real life....
Give me a call.

Listen to our stats:

A quarter of youth use opiate drugs in 12th grade.
In the same grade, 33% of us swallowed down alcohol this last month.
Half of us did it in the last year.

We will enter prostitution around age 13.
There are 20 million people currently enslaved worldwide.
2 million of them are children being prostituted.
Average life span of our friend who is trafficked?  7 years.
30,000 of us.... yes, American youth under 18....are lured into commercial sex each year.

Suicide is the second most common cause of our death.
The number one cause is drug overdose.
15% of us have seriously considered suicide....
12% had made a plan...
7.8% attempted that plan...
2% needed medical intervention.

50% of girls aged 6-12 are concerned about their weight.
80% of TEN year olds are afraid of being too fat.
30 million people in the US have an eating disorder.
76% of my peers with an eating disorder started between 11 and 20.
20% of youth with a serious eating disorder will die of a complication... ranging from starvation, kidney failure, cardiac arrest,  or electrolyte imbalance.

Between 1/3 and 1/2 of us engage in non-suicidal self harming behavior, including cutting, burning, bruising, or strangulation.
We who cut are teenage girls from middle class families and were probably abused.
And 77% of us who injure try to kill ourselves...
57% more than once.

41% of those of us in high school have had sex at least once
46% of 12th graders have been sexually active in the last 3 months.
10% of us have had 4 or more sexual partners in high school.
4% of us had sex before age 13.
 We account for 50% of the new Sexually Transmitted Disease cases
1 in 4 of us will get a  STD every year
20% of my girlfriends use the Pill at least sometimes.

1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused
Somewhere around 50% of us are abused in the home.
Around 1,400 of my peers die each year from abuse...
But 50% of their abuse deaths are not reported.
We who have been abused are over 50% more likely to be included in all the previous stats.

1 in 3 of us have been abused by a romantic partner.
1 in 10 have been purposefully slapped, beaten or otherwise physically harmed by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
50% of college age girls have been abused in a romantic relationship.
Only 33% had the courage to tell someone about their date's abuse...
80% of our parents don't think date abuse is a big deal, and think they could spot it...
But only 40% could correctly identify the signs of abuse when shown a list.

Yes. Those are terrifying statistics. And no, you can't pretend like they don't affect good Christian kids from middle class homes, in your middle class, suburban youth group. Those youth are not much better off than their peers.

What does this mean in simple terms?
If you take the stats at face value......

If you have 10 of us in youth group:

3 have used opiates in the past year
5 have drunk alcohol in the last year
2 are sex trafficked
2 have considered seriously killing themselves
8 have an eating disorder
4 regularly self harm
4 have had sex at least once
2 use the Pill
2 will get a STD before they're 21 and legal
5 have been abused sexually
4 have been abused by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
5 will be abused when we get back home.

Your cotton candy lessons based on the good old days? FAIL.
Your games of Twister where we had to touch the guys? FAIL.
Your movie dates to see the DC Comic film? FAIL.
Trying to get us all to think you're our buddy, not a leader? FAIL.
Pretending we don't know to sext X rated pictures, find a dealer to get skittles (not the candy ones), the cheapest way to kill ourselves, and cut ourselves without bleeding out? FAIL.
Ignoring the facts? TRIPLE-F-FAILED.

You have failed us.

WE NEEDED YOU.

BE REAL.

 We wanna talk about real issues in youth group. We wanna see lists of the signs of our real problems duct taped to our church doors, inserted into our bulletins. We wanna see education opportunities for us and our parents to do together.

Lets stop doing  this:

And instead do this:

Let's be real about the problems we face every day in school, college, our job, and things that should be carefree.... like going on dates.

The arrows that will deflate these stats are in between your Bible's covers, in your Pastor's mouth, and alive on the altar.
Not in Disney.

You have failed us. But, you can improve. It's never too late to start over. It's never to late to do what needs to be done.

Let's hear it for truth, facts, accountability, intense theology, and tools to face real life!!!

Sincerely,

 That Person Who Never Shows Up Your Youth Group.

PS.... Yes, I did purposefully use Disney songs as illustrations.... So you'd listen. Because apparently Disney is very important for our development.