Red and Yellow, Black and White...

I am a proudly confessional, liturgical, historical, Biblical Lutheran. I sing out of the Lutheran Service Book each Sunday, use Luther's Morning Prayer almost every day, sing A Mighty Fortress with gusto and cross myself obsessively.

I am also a Lutheran in the eyes of people.... that must mean I take liturgically colored gelatin cubes to potlucks, adore tuna noodle casserole (I mean hotdish), drink lots of black coffee, have German ancestors, and, of course, hate change.

Thus, the famous Lutheran joke....

How Many Lutherans Does it Take To Change a Lightbulb?

 

Answer:

CHANGE!?!?!

Or, this alternative answer.....

Enough to create a Light Bulb Committee to address these topics:
1) determine first if they need a new light bulb
2) If they determine they need one.... debate if it is worth the change
3) Research different light bulbs and present their findings to the church council who can make a recommendation for the congregational vote in November.
4) determine if they need a "change the light bulb team" to help turn the ladder while someone holds the bulb.
5) Arrange a service of dedication for the new light bulb
6) propose to the budget committee an estimated yearly cost for keeping the new bulb lit (which will ultimately be cut from the budget in 2012)
7) Find an appropriate Martin Luther quote about light to put on the bulletin the first Sunday of the new bulb so everyone knows what "Luther would have thought about a new light bulb"
8) call the seminary to make sure it is not unconfessional to use a light bulb that may have been made by Baptists.
9) seek out private donors in order to avoid a capital campaign fund to afford a new bulb.
10) Have church split because the largest donor's great-great grandfather donated theoriginal light bulb 50 years ago.


There's just one problem. I am a devoted, happy Lutheran who is mostly of Scotch-Irish and Cherokee background, with maybe four splashes of German and a bit of English. I speak with a drawl, eat fried okra, chicken livers, pecan pie and sweet iced tea. I don't drink coffee. And, most scandalously of all...
I prefer the front of the church, not the back pew.

But, really, let's be honest.
The Garrison Keillor, "Lutfisk, hotdishes, coffee and Jell-o Lutherans".... are dying.
Baptized membership in my denomination, the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, is down by 2 percent.
Communicant membership is down by 1.5 percent.

None of the American Lutheran denominations are growing.... all of them are either holding steady of shrinking.


But all is not lost.

In 1910, 93% of the world's Christians were in Europe or the Americas.
Only 1.4 percent were in Sub-Saharan Africa.
Now, 23% of the Christians in the world are in Sub-Saharan Africa.

In 1910, 4.5% were in Asia/Pacific.... now it's 13 percent.

Technically, the US still has the most Christians.... followed by Brazil, Mexico, Russia, Philippines, Nigeria, China, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Germany and Ethiopia.

But, counting Christians in China is notoriously hard, and most of the sources I read figured that in all reality, China is probably the country with the most Christians.

Nigeria has twice as many Christians as Germany.
Brazil has twice as many Catholics as Italy.
And....
There are THREE TIMES as many Lutherans in Africa as in the US and Canada combined!

Of the 17 countries with more than a half a million Lutherans....
6 are African,
3 are Asian.

There are three African Churches that have more members individually than the LCMS.... The church in Ethiopia, Madagascar, and Tanzania.

The fast growing Lutheran Church... also one of the fastest growing the in world... is the Mekane Yesus church of Ethiopia.

The other thing it keep in mind is this--
Not only are African Lutherans gaining more converts... the age of marriage is lower, and the number of children per woman is higher.
Acording to this map, most of the countries experiencing the most Lutheran growth have an average of at least 5 children per woman.
And, this list tells us that most Africans are marrying in their early twenties or even late teens.
 It's not a bad church growth policy to think about!

So, no, the typical Lutheran is no longer a German eating hot dishes... or a Swede eating lefse.
It's a Ethiopian eating Injera, or a Malagasy eating romazava.

All together now!

"Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world,
Red and Yellow, Black and White,
They are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world!"

Besides, the more colors the better!

Bonus clip:

A Letter to My Youth Leader

Hey.

I know you don't really know me that well... despite what you think.

I know that when you invited me to the last College Youth get together, you were trying to encourage me...

But you failed.
Just like you're failing all of us.

If I was going to watch a Disney Cartoon, I would do it with the blinds drawn, and  not tell anyone.

Watching it at a 'church' event?

That just doesn't make sense.

When the target group is 18-25?

I'm still scratching my head.

Let me tell you a little secret:

There's one way to get us youth to grow up, be adults, and turn into strong Christians that can change the world and make the devil tremble. Or, at least manage to stay out of jail, keep themselves sober, marry a normal person, stay married, raise halfway decent kids, die in our beds of old age, and keep the church alive for another generation.

That would be this:
Treat us like the adults we want to be.
I don't want to hear another word about how immature we are.
When you finally get around to having get togethers for us, to deal with real life....
Give me a call.

Listen to our stats:

A quarter of youth use opiate drugs in 12th grade.
In the same grade, 33% of us swallowed down alcohol this last month.
Half of us did it in the last year.

We will enter prostitution around age 13.
There are 20 million people currently enslaved worldwide.
2 million of them are children being prostituted.
Average life span of our friend who is trafficked?  7 years.
30,000 of us.... yes, American youth under 18....are lured into commercial sex each year.

Suicide is the second most common cause of our death.
The number one cause is drug overdose.
15% of us have seriously considered suicide....
12% had made a plan...
7.8% attempted that plan...
2% needed medical intervention.

50% of girls aged 6-12 are concerned about their weight.
80% of TEN year olds are afraid of being too fat.
30 million people in the US have an eating disorder.
76% of my peers with an eating disorder started between 11 and 20.
20% of youth with a serious eating disorder will die of a complication... ranging from starvation, kidney failure, cardiac arrest,  or electrolyte imbalance.

Between 1/3 and 1/2 of us engage in non-suicidal self harming behavior, including cutting, burning, bruising, or strangulation.
We who cut are teenage girls from middle class families and were probably abused.
And 77% of us who injure try to kill ourselves...
57% more than once.

41% of those of us in high school have had sex at least once
46% of 12th graders have been sexually active in the last 3 months.
10% of us have had 4 or more sexual partners in high school.
4% of us had sex before age 13.
 We account for 50% of the new Sexually Transmitted Disease cases
1 in 4 of us will get a  STD every year
20% of my girlfriends use the Pill at least sometimes.

1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused
Somewhere around 50% of us are abused in the home.
Around 1,400 of my peers die each year from abuse...
But 50% of their abuse deaths are not reported.
We who have been abused are over 50% more likely to be included in all the previous stats.

1 in 3 of us have been abused by a romantic partner.
1 in 10 have been purposefully slapped, beaten or otherwise physically harmed by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
50% of college age girls have been abused in a romantic relationship.
Only 33% had the courage to tell someone about their date's abuse...
80% of our parents don't think date abuse is a big deal, and think they could spot it...
But only 40% could correctly identify the signs of abuse when shown a list.

Yes. Those are terrifying statistics. And no, you can't pretend like they don't affect good Christian kids from middle class homes, in your middle class, suburban youth group. Those youth are not much better off than their peers.

What does this mean in simple terms?
If you take the stats at face value......

If you have 10 of us in youth group:

3 have used opiates in the past year
5 have drunk alcohol in the last year
2 are sex trafficked
2 have considered seriously killing themselves
8 have an eating disorder
4 regularly self harm
4 have had sex at least once
2 use the Pill
2 will get a STD before they're 21 and legal
5 have been abused sexually
4 have been abused by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
5 will be abused when we get back home.

Your cotton candy lessons based on the good old days? FAIL.
Your games of Twister where we had to touch the guys? FAIL.
Your movie dates to see the DC Comic film? FAIL.
Trying to get us all to think you're our buddy, not a leader? FAIL.
Pretending we don't know to sext X rated pictures, find a dealer to get skittles (not the candy ones), the cheapest way to kill ourselves, and cut ourselves without bleeding out? FAIL.
Ignoring the facts? TRIPLE-F-FAILED.

You have failed us.

WE NEEDED YOU.

BE REAL.

 We wanna talk about real issues in youth group. We wanna see lists of the signs of our real problems duct taped to our church doors, inserted into our bulletins. We wanna see education opportunities for us and our parents to do together.

Lets stop doing  this:

And instead do this:

Let's be real about the problems we face every day in school, college, our job, and things that should be carefree.... like going on dates.

The arrows that will deflate these stats are in between your Bible's covers, in your Pastor's mouth, and alive on the altar.
Not in Disney.

You have failed us. But, you can improve. It's never too late to start over. It's never to late to do what needs to be done.

Let's hear it for truth, facts, accountability, intense theology, and tools to face real life!!!

Sincerely,

 That Person Who Never Shows Up Your Youth Group.

PS.... Yes, I did purposefully use Disney songs as illustrations.... So you'd listen. Because apparently Disney is very important for our development.