I'll spare you from my words for a little longer.... but here's a book review!
And, of course, the requisite disclaimer..... I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review....
With that out of the way, here's the description from Goodreads!
Hannah and her husband, Elkanah, share a deep and abiding love, for each other, for their God, and for his tabernacle at Shiloh. Greatly disturbed by the corruption of the priests, they long for restoration and pray for a deliverer. But nothing changes as the years pass. Years that also reveal Hannah to be barren.
Pressured by his family to take another wife, Elkanah marries Peninnah, who quickly begins to bear children. Disgraced and taunted by her husband's new wife, Hannah turns again to prayers that seem doomed to go unanswered. Do her devotion and kindness in the face of Peninnah's cruelty count for nothing? Why does God remain silent and indifferent to her pleas?
Travel back to the dusty streets of Shiloh with an expert guide as Jill Eileen Smith brings to life a beloved story of hope, patience, and deliverance that shows that even the most broken of relationships can be restored.
I've read many of Jill's books in the past and enjoyed every single one of them.
This one didn't let me down.
Oh, the emotion!
I suppose I should have expected that, due to the nature of the Bible story, much of the book would focus on the relationship triangle between Elkanah, Hannah, and Peninnah.
I didn't expect it to be done quite so well!
The tension and strife between Hannah and Peninnah are handed expertly, and somehow, Jill is able to portray the stress without everything descending into a soap opera. Elkhanah's personal discomfort with the whole situation is very realistic and poignant as well.
One of the things I most appreciated about this book was how Jill created a vivid backdrop of the time. The moral decline of the era, and especially the depravity of Eli's sons is show in a colorful, yet tasteful way. Overlaid above this sinful backdrop is the contrast of Hannah and Elkanah's virtue.
The spiritual lives of the characters is shown clearly, and everything is very close to normal Orthodox Jewish spirituality. Everything is close to the Scripture, and God is the One who is lifted high through the story.
The theme of the book has to do with trusting and waiting on God throughout excruciatingly painful times, and it is clearly put forward. The emotions and faith of Hannah are both heartbreaking and inspiring, and when she finally holds the promised child under her heart, all anyone can do is cheer for her.
The book is fairly clean, and although there are some discrete references to sexual activity and physical violence, and a murdered body is found, nothing is gory or explicit.
All in all, and wonderful book that shows beautifully the pain and wonder of Hannah's life.
I hope you ate a lot of chocolate and celebrated with loved ones.
And now....
Happy Lent!
Lent is a much forgotten jewel in the Christian's crown. It's the sort of thing that often gets classified only in the context of strange people who only eat fish on Friday for six weeks, and a vague notion of "giving something up..." Often, this involves giving up social media, sweets, or even something as nebulous as 'bad thought patterns.'
But yesterday, while the much of America enjoyed overpriced steaks in crowded restaurants, signed Hallmark cards, and gave lollipops with punny sayings to their children.....
I was in church with most of the world's Catholics, Lutherans, and Presbyterians.
We were celebrating something totally different.
Ash Wednesday.
There is nothing I can do to describe the feeling of going forward and having dirt smeared on your forehead as the pastor solemnly proclaims: "Remember, you are dust And to dust you shall return."
This morning I became aware of yesterday's tragic shooting, as a bitter, rejected young man shot and killed 17 people in his former high school. Many photos of the event show parents waiting in distraught horror....
Ashen crosses still on their foreheads from the morning's Ash Wednesday Mass.
I read the coverage here.... and it got me thinking.
When Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day fall on the same day, we the liturgical Church, have an opening. Let's talk. When a heartbreaking tragedy collides with both.... the Church steps forward.
Because, lets face it:
Nobody wants to talk about death.
Avoid it. Pretend it doesn't exist.
But, we'll never escape' them chilly waters.'
There have been 3 deaths at my church in 3 weeks.
All 3 were dear Christian ladies, ready to leave this painful world and go home.
Let's talk about my Christian homeschool friend, Jonah, who shot himself with his deer rifle.
He was only 16.
I was 14 when it happened.
But let's avoid it.
Could we talk about my friend Julian who was stabbed mercilessly (over 20 times) in the park?
I was still 14.
Or about my friend Najae from Rahab who got out of jail only to be shot brutally dozens of times?
She was left to die.
She never escaped 'them chilly waters.'
Let's pretend it doesn't exist.
But wait....
Remember.....
"You are dust, And, to dust you shall return."
Grieving people wail that "They didn't deserve to die that way!" "They were "too young!"
Let's chat about my other friend: He was killed "too young," "before His time." He didn't deserve to be murdered. It's His ashes I wear on my forehead.
Reminding me,
As I sit in the dust:
He sits with me.
My Best Friend!
My Lord and my God!
I know you don't really know me that well... despite what you think.
I know that when you invited me to the last College Youth get together, you were trying to encourage me...
But you failed.
Just like you're failing all of us.
If I was going to watch a Disney Cartoon, I would do it with the blinds drawn, and not tell anyone.
Watching it at a 'church' event?
That just doesn't make sense.
When the target group is 18-25?
I'm still scratching my head.
Let me tell you a little secret:
There's one way to get us youth to grow up, be adults, and turn into strong Christians that can change the world and make the devil tremble. Or, at least manage to stay out of jail, keep themselves sober, marry a normal person, stay married, raise halfway decent kids, die in our beds of old age, and keep the church alive for another generation.
That would be this:
Treat us like the adults we want to be.
I don't want to hear another word about how immature we are.
When you finally get around to having get togethers for us, to deal with real life....
Give me a call.
Listen to our stats:
A quarter of youth use opiate drugs in 12th grade.
In the same grade, 33% of us swallowed down alcohol this last month.
Half of us did it in the last year.
We will enter prostitution around age 13.
There are 20 million people currently enslaved worldwide.
2 million of them are children being prostituted.
Average life span of our friend who is trafficked? 7 years.
30,000 of us.... yes, American youth under 18....are lured into commercial sex each year.
Suicide is the second most common cause of our death.
The number one cause is drug overdose.
15% of us have seriously considered suicide....
12% had made a plan...
7.8% attempted that plan...
2% needed medical intervention.
50% of girls aged 6-12 are concerned about their weight.
80% of TEN year olds are afraid of being too fat.
30 million people in the US have an eating disorder.
76% of my peers with an eating disorder started between 11 and 20.
20% of youth with a serious eating disorder will die of a complication... ranging from starvation, kidney failure, cardiac arrest, or electrolyte imbalance.
Between 1/3 and 1/2 of us engage in non-suicidal self harming behavior, including cutting, burning, bruising, or strangulation.
We who cut are teenage girls from middle class families and were probably abused.
And 77% of us who injure try to kill ourselves...
57% more than once.
41% of those of us in high school have had sex at least once
46% of 12th graders have been sexually active in the last 3 months.
10% of us have had 4 or more sexual partners in high school.
4% of us had sex before age 13.
We account for 50% of the new Sexually Transmitted Disease cases
1 in 4 of us will get a STD every year
20% of my girlfriends use the Pill at least sometimes.
1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused
Somewhere around 50% of us are abused in the home.
Around 1,400 of my peers die each year from abuse...
But 50% of their abuse deaths are not reported.
We who have been abused are over 50% more likely to be included in all the previous stats.
1 in 3 of us have been abused by a romantic partner.
1 in 10 have been purposefully slapped, beaten or otherwise physically harmed by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
50% of college age girls have been abused in a romantic relationship.
Only 33% had the courage to tell someone about their date's abuse...
80% of our parents don't think date abuse is a big deal, and think they could spot it...
But only 40% could correctly identify the signs of abuse when shown a list.
Yes. Those are terrifying statistics. And no, you can't pretend like they don't affect good Christian kids from middle class homes, in your middle class, suburban youth group. Those youth are not much better off than their peers.
What does this mean in simple terms?
If you take the stats at face value......
If you have 10 of us in youth group:
3 have used opiates in the past year 5 have drunk alcohol in the last year 2 are sex trafficked 2 have considered seriously killing themselves 8 have an eating disorder 4 regularly self harm 4 have had sex at least once 2 use the Pill 2 will get a STD before they're 21 and legal 5 have been abused sexually 4 have been abused by their girlfriend or boyfriend. 5 will be abused when we get back home.
Your cotton candy lessons based on the good old days? FAIL.
Your games of Twister where we had to touch the guys? FAIL.
Your movie dates to see the DC Comic film? FAIL.
Trying to get us all to think you're our buddy, not a leader? FAIL.
Pretending we don't know to sext X rated pictures, find a dealer to get skittles (not the candy ones), the cheapest way to kill ourselves, and cut ourselves without bleeding out? FAIL.
Ignoring the facts? TRIPLE-F-FAILED.
You have failed us.
WE NEEDED YOU.
BE REAL.
We wanna talk about real issues in youth group. We wanna see lists of the signs of our real problems duct taped to our church doors, inserted into our bulletins. We wanna see education opportunities for us and our parents to do together.
Lets stop doing this:
And instead do this:
Let's be real about the problems we face every day in school, college, our job, and things that should be carefree.... like going on dates.
The arrows that will deflate these stats are in between your Bible's covers, in your Pastor's mouth, and alive on the altar.
Not in Disney.
You have failed us. But, you can improve. It's never too late to start over. It's never to late to do what needs to be done.
Let's hear it for truth, facts, accountability, intense theology, and tools to face real life!!!
Sincerely,
That Person Who Never Shows Up Your Youth Group.
PS.... Yes, I did purposefully use Disney songs as illustrations.... So you'd listen. Because apparently Disney is very important for our development.
(if you didn't get that reference..... watch this..... Now you can finish reading)
Or, in more modern words-----
"All my life has been a series of doors in my face
And then suddenly I bump into you!
I was thinking the same thing! 'Cause like
I've been searching my whole life to find my own place
And maybe it's the party talking or the chocolate fondue...."
So... as we in the US approach Valentines Day, I figured I'd get something out of the way...
We've all seen them. They're glued together like Siamese twins. Always petting, always kissing. Gushing to everyone in sight about their partner. Totally, hopelessly, well... silly. Forgetting their keys... their lunch.... all their old friends.
They're "In Love"
They're "Fallen in Love."
Have you ever thought about that phrase? How exactly did they fall in love? Did they trip? Was it something they couldn't stop? Is this a Calvinist saying? Is there no free will around here?
I looked up the definition of "Love" in Merriam Webster:
Definition of love
1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
maternal love for a child
(2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
After all these years, they are still very much in love.
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
3 a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
baseball was his first love
That is one word with way too many definitions. Everything from Mother-child love, Husband-wife love, Human-God love...... and Human-Candy Corn love.
"I love you, Mommy!"
"I just love ice cream!"
"Love ya, Sis!"
"I love you so much, Jesus!"
I love you, Honey! Will you...."
Gracious!
How exactly did we decide one word could handle all that pressure?!
I've been told that in many other languages, there are many words for love.
The Greek used in the New Testament is one.
There's Eros, that's sexual love.
And Phileo, that's brother/deep friend love.
Storge, which is parent and child love.
And finally Agape, which is the deep love of God for us, and the church for each other.
The only one that can really be "fallen into" is Eros.... also know as lust, physical attraction, or the 'hots'. The other three require friendship, time, and work. Mostly work. This quote says it all:
"Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable."
Henry Ward Beecher
To put it bluntly.... This thing we've been calling love is nothing more than warm fuzzies. There is nothing wrong with warm fuzzies... they have a place. But they come and they go. They get smothered under work, children, and trials.
True, real love on the other hand, is hard. It's work, blood, sweat, and tears. Every day, forever. It's choosing everyday that you're still going to do this thing. It's refusing to let your hormones drive the train. It's deciding every second to serve, to give, to sacrifice. Until you die.
If a picture is worth a thousand words...
then let me give you a picture of True Love....
That is love. And we're never going to be able to do it. That's why we try. Over and over. And say we're sorry. And forgive, and forget, and throw away all the records. And cry, and laugh, and pick ourselves up and dust each other off. Forever.
So, no, you don't fall in love.
And no, what you feel on your second date isn't love.
Or what you feel on the day you propose, although you might be getting a hint.
This isn't love
This is.
And, since you made it this far, I'm going to give you a reward for busting your eardrums earlier....
And before I go---
Shouts out to all my poor readers, everywhere. We're international, folks! We're from the US, Jamaica, Canada, UK, South Africa, Australia, Brazil, India, Spain and Slovakia! Howdy to all of you!
(And yes, I'm on a photo high.)
Like most girls, I spent many years of my childhood dreaming about my future husband. I had long lists of qualities that I thought were necessary. These changed frequently, depending on what I considered most important.
My list spanned everything from physical appearance, personal interests, even acceptable jobs.
And then I grew up.
And I learned that men are not what fairy tales and novels create them to be. Most of those books are written by women, and the guys have a decidedly feminine flair.
Being around men taught me that most men were much less like women than they were..... men.
I realized that most men are simply normal in appearance, had average jobs, and had masculine interests that I didn't always understand.
I looked around and had a "Come to Jesus" moment.
Most of the girls I know were also looking for the "Perfect Man."
This became especially obvious as I hung around girls who fell into more conservative circles. They were not only looking for the man who looked amazing, did a cool sounding job, and had similar interests, they needed one who was extremely religious, had a house and 15 year goals, and a family who uniformly thought they were the best thing that happened to their son.
These women waited far into their twenties, even thirties, not because they wanted to, or because nobody asked them out, but because nobody was ever good enough for them. They were searching for a man who was as strong a Christian as their favorite preacher, AND looked like their favorite movie star AND had an impressive job. Preferably as a doctor or pastor. Definitely not a pest controller, police office, lineman, EMT, soldier, or diesel mechanic. These are jobs, that, statistically, are both underappreciated and underpaid.
None of these are bad things. However, we can't have everything. Which begs the question----- What are we willing to sacrifice on?
Because, the fact is that women who want to get married can't afford to be picky anymore....... there really are less men. No, sweet friend, it's not your imagination.
The average church is 61% women, 39% men.
The joke goes that the Christian men are like parking spaces-- either taken or handicapped.
On college campuses, the men to women ratio is about 58% girls, 42% guys. And it's worse in Christian college campuses, were it often approaches two gals a one guy.
On any given Sunday, there are 13 million more women in church than men.
Most non-pastoral church employees are women. This site gives the nitty gritty details on the gender gap.
Women are 54% more likely to attend a small group at church.
There are 88 unmarried men 18 and older for every 100 women.
Plus, if you're Missouri Synod Lutheran like me, you have another problem. The LCMS is top heavy. 24 percent of the church is made of senior citizens, compared to 15 percent of the normal population, and only 17 percent are between 19 and 30, compared to 22 percent of the normal population. Only a few years ago, it was only 10%. Average age of an LCMS Lutheran? 47. The LCMS is 53% women, 47% men..... better than average, but how many are young and unmarried? Well.... a whopping 59% of LCMS members are MARRIED! Only 15% have never been married..... and that's over all age groups.
So, no matter how often guys try to turn this around and say they can't find any good Christian women...... the fact is, there's about two women to every man in the average church. And a disproportionate number of those men are already married.
All this to say....
I've stopped looking for Mr. Right.
Now, I'm looking only for a man who fills a few carefully crafted MUST haves--
1) Is he Lutheran? Maybe Catholic?
2) Does he have a decent job?
3) Does he respect me?
4) Do I like being around him?
5) Does he value kids?
6) Is he devoted to being faithful to me forever?
7) Is he going to work on our marriage forever?
I've stopped caring about what he looks like, where he works, or even where he came from.
All I want is a good guy who loves Jesus and the liturgy of the church. That's all I dare to die on.
Because, let's face it. Men aren't like the men in the stories. Neither are women.
What you've thought was true, is indeed true. Young people are delaying marriage longer and longer than any future generation ever did.
According to the U.S. Census reports:
20% of 18-30 year olds are married.
Compare that too--
36% of GenXers were married by that age.
48% of Boomers.
65% of Traditionalists.
The numbers don't lie.... the number of people getting married is dropping at a frightening rate.
But here's a fact you probably don't expect. Of the young people today who are single and have never been married..... 86% want to get married.
If they want to get married, why aren't more of them married?
I would put forward that it's all about priorities.... and finances.
Think about it. We have indoctrinated our children for years that marriage is a ball and chain, that they need to get everything together before they can get married, and that college and career are more important anyway.
How many married people have you heard groaning and complaining about what their spouse does or doesn't do? How many married people have you heard throwing out some variation of the "Yes Dear" joke? How many married people do you know that act like they like each other?
I know many couples that puzzle me. I'm not sure why they're married, because you never see them together. Or, if you do, they act like they hate each other. Or, if it's not pure hate, it's aloof and distant.
Yet, at the same time, we tell our youth that marriage is a wonderful, God given thing. That it's a joy and a gift.
Coulda fooled me.
This is what I see, in reality.
I've had a lot of people ask me when I'm going to college, and express deep concern when I tell them I don't have plans to attend one soon.
I don't remember a single time that anyone has asked me whether I was in a relationship, then given condolences when I expressed my lack of dates.
Everyone is quick to tell me I'm too young to choose a spouse. Nobody has told me that I'm too young to chose a career. Never has someone suggested that a 18 year old is too young to understand what $60,000 in debt really is.
This is the message that I, and my fellow young people are getting: Go to college. Rack up some so much debt that you'll be eating Ramen for six years. Focus on climbing the corporate ladder in your field. Get married once you have job, house, and new car.
It hasn't always been this way. My grandparents married young, and those who went to college didn't wait until graduation to tie the knot. My parents married young, after their four year degree, but before my Dad went to grad school.
It's not just changing the marriage age from after high school to after undergrad school.
The average age of marriage is now 27 for gals and 29 for guys.
That's post high school, undergrad, grad school, and then between three and five years after.
I'm not saying that everyone should get married young. What I am saying is this-- getting married young is not a sin, it's not unwise, and it should be encouraged as an appropriate desire.
I'm not married, but here's two articles that talk about the benefits of marrying young from people who did so. Click here and here.
This is what I'm saying.
Singles-- Don't be afraid to make getting married a priority. Don't be afraid to marry young. Allow God to bring your spouse in His timing.... but be open to it being sooner than you might have thought.
Married Couples-- Act like you like it already! Show us how awesome marriage is. Encourage us when we express longings to marry. Don't critique people who marry young. Support them, and show them the ropes.
This is going to be a relatively deep, theological discussion on marriage, addressing what I see as the two main lies that circle Christian singles today...........
You've been warned. Proceed at your own risk!
"There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage"---- Martin Luther
Ahh...... good old Luther. I plead my rights if there's too many Luther quotes in here proportional to everyone else!
Lets start with what is probably the best description of the purpose of marriage I've seen yet...
"The ultimate purpose [of marriage] is to obey God, to find aid and counsel against sin; to call upon God; to seek, love, and educate children for the glory of God; to live with one’s wife in the fear of God and to bear the cross; but if there are no children, nevertheless to live with one’s wife in contentment; and to avoid all lewdness with others"---- Martin Luther
In today's Christian world, basically everybody falls off one cliff or another. Either they say that singleness is preferred to marriage, or that singles are not complete people. I'm going to try to address both positions in turn, then add a few other thoughts at the end.
#1-- Singleness is Better Than Marriage
Most people likely will try to pin this on the Catholic church. Roman Catholics have struggled over the years with balancing the Sacraments of Marriage and Holy Orders.(Priestly Ordination and Monastic Vows.) However, I've found that the people who push this now are those who fall into popular youth ministry groups, and strangely enough, groups who push for waiting for your spouse and staying pure. (Which are wonderful, Godly things.)
The logic goes like this-- 'Paul says everyone should stay like he is, and he was single. So was Jesus, Nehemiah, Barnabas..... (Insert long list of Biblical figures) So, you really don't need to get married unless you want to have kids. Jesus is all you need.' Before I can go further, I need to give a 30 second lesson on Vocation. This is the doctrine that everything in life, if done by a devout Christian man or woman is service to God. The pastor who preaches is no better than a plumber fixing a leak. The mom changing diapers is no less than a bishop. God created us, and all our vocations to give him glory and serve our neighbor. Therefore-- Long term singleness is a Vocation. Some people have been gifted with an ability to be single for a long time, some haven't. That doesn't mean that everyone who's supposed to get married will get married at the same time, it means that God only gifts people with grace to be single for as long as it takes for everyone to get mature and get together. Ultimately, this falls into the Early Church heresy of Gnosticism, which said that everything on this earth was dirty and polluted, and truly spiritual people would leave all of that behind in pursuit of God. The entire Gospel of John was written to showcase the things about Jesus that were contrary to Gnosticism.
Invariably, a single person expressing a desire to be married ends with someone tritely saying 'You just need Jesus.' Usually, this person is married. It is true that Jesus can soothe the unsettledness and stress of the single life. He gives us the Sacrament of the Altar to assure us that He is always with us. He gives us families, churches and pastors to surround us with love and support. He gives us His word to show us His love. He sticks a pastor in front of us to pronounce His forgiveness when we struggle and fall into lust, envy, discontentment, and covetousness.
However, most singles who long for marriage are longing for the companionship, togetherness and affection of marriage. They long to be the most important person in someone's life. They want to be able to partner with another person in this life. And yes, they long for physical affection and the marriage bed.
Jesus isn't going to remove these desires.
To do so would be against His creation. He made marriage to fulfill those longings, and to placate or remove those desires Himself would be to change natural laws that He wrote.
After all, even in a perfect garden, with a perfect, sinless relationship with God, Adam was alone. And it was not good.
As Luther says--
"There is nothing disgraceful about it (desire to be married) Celibacy is supposed to be a virtue, but it is a veritable gift of God, just as if a person did not eat or drink.... There are not many virgins to whom God has granted a long life; rather, hurriedly He whisked them out of this world, like Cecilia, Agnes, Lucia, Agatha and others like them. I know full well how noble that treasure is, but also how difficult it is to preserve for any length of time."
God didn't tell Adam to get closer to Him so that He could fulfill Adam's loneliness.... He created the women to fill it. Tertullian, one of the Church Fathers, wrote this--
"How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life that they follow, in the religion they practice... They are, in very truth, two in flesh."
This doesn't mean that the single person is destined to be a partnerless, useless sock. It just means that nobody should trivialize the intense, innate longings of the single man or woman.
#2-- A Single Person is Useless. Honestly, I don't hear this much anymore, except around groups like the Anabaptists and certain conservative homeschool groups. However, let's get it out of the way. A single person can do a lot. They can do so many things a married person can't, because of decreased demands on time, energy, money and attention. Single people are perfect for those roles that are too time consuming and/or dangerous for a married couple. I know a couple of single guys that have been on mission trips to the Middle East recently. The areas that they are in are too unstable to bring a family into. This is a wonderful reason to be single.
Ultimately, this is what it all comes down to: Do you have a logical, Biblical reason for your state, whether married or single.
John Chrystosom says it nicely:
"So whether we presently live in our virginity, in our first marriage, or in our second, let us pursue holiness, that we may be counted worthy to see Him and to attain the Kingdom of Heaven, through the grace and love for mankind of our Lord Jesus."
Concluding thoughts:
Marriage is beautiful Singleness is beautiful. We need to support and help all our Christian brothers and sisters, whatever their marriage status. And in an age that scorns normal, loyal, faithful, Christ Honoring marriage.... Lets especially support those among us who are longing for marriage.
And, in closing, a couple of really fun Luther quotes on marriage:
"There’s a lot to get used to in the first years of marriage. One wakes up in the morning and finds a pair of pigtails on the pillow that were not there before."
"In domestic affairs I defer to Katie. Otherwise, I am led by the Holy Ghost."
And, some cool quotes I found during research that I couldn't squish in anywhere else:
“An intelligent, discreet, and pious young woman is worth more than all the money in the world. Tell her that you love her more than your own life, because this present life is nothing, and that your only hope is that the two of you pass through this life in such a way that, in the world to come, you will be united in perfect love” – St. John Chrysostom
And for the gals:
"First, look for a husband who will really be a husband and a protector; remember that you are placing a head on a body. When your daughter is to be married, don’t look for how much money a man has. Don’t worry about his nationality or his family’s social position […] When you are satisfied that the man is virtuous and decide what day they will be married, beseech Christ to be present at the wedding. He is not ashamed to come for marriage is an image of His presence in the Church. Even better than this: pray that your children will each find such a virtuous spouse; entrust this concern of yours into His hands. If you honor Him in this way, He will return honor for honor." John Chrystosom
And this lovely description:
“They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in Spirit. They are in very truth, two in one flesh; and where there is but one flesh there is also but one spirit.
“They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another.
“Side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another, they never shun each other’s company; they never bring sorrow to each other’s hearts… Psalms and hymns they sing to one another.
“Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there are two together, there also He is present, and where He is….there evil is not.” – Tertullian
And this:
"The love of husband and wife is the force that welds society together. Men will take up arms and even sacrifice their lives for the sake of this love. St. Paul would not speak so earnestly about this subject without serious reason; why else would he say, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord?” Because when harmony prevails, the children are raised well, the household is kept in order, and neighbors, friends, and relatives praise the result. Great benefits, both of families and states, are thus produced. When it is otherwise, however, everything is thrown into confusion and turned upside-down." John Chrystosom, Homily on Ephesians 5:22-23
