Letting Down Her Walls

Hello, down there!
Up here....
I'm the one in the tower!

No, you can't come up here.... it's too dangerous.

Nothing like that! The stairs are perfectly well maintained.... it's too dangerous for me.

Well, you see if  you came up here, I might have to let down my carefully constructed walls, and be vulnerable. I can't do that. Someone might hurt me.

Of course people have done that before! That's why I came up here in the first place.

Let me explain. You see, people don't really want to see your true self, they want to see the neat and clean version. They don't want to get the pain from my heart dumped into their arms.... that's called oversharing. They don't want to be forced to respond to cries of grief that don't have answers.

You think I'm cynical? Well, I probably am.

But it's safer this way!

I've seen it! I'm just working off of experiences..... Just basing things off of real life.

No, I do let some people in.... some of the time..... After a they've had a background check, passed the SAT, and found the Holy Grail. Then I let them in.

You think I'm missing out? Well, I don't think so. I mean, I'm lonely, and a lot of the time I wonder why I feel so isolated, but I know it's for the best.

It's safer this way.

No, I do leave sometimes! I leave on occasion, when properly attired in Kevlar, combat boots, and a full face mask. No, it doesn't help with making friends, but.....

It's safer this way.

Oh, no, I've never had problems letting Jesus into my tower, I just make sure I've cleaned everything from top to bottom first. Can't have the Son of God in here without sterilizing everything first.

I wonder sometimes if people realize there's more to this girl than what they see. All they see is the crisp, clear put together me. What would happen if they saw the hurting, struggling, raw me. But they probably would recoil in horror.

It's safer this way.

Of course, it's possible that they would help me, listen to me, share advice and gift me with prayers..... but they also might gossip about me, or think I'm not strong... or leave me sitting in my tears....

It's safer this way.

You say that you promise to listen to me? You say that I can't say anything that will scare you off? Prove it!

But, I can't come down.... it's too scary.

Yes, I suppose you can come up here... But let me clean up first.

I don't have to Clorox everything before you come up? But then you'd see the mess.... you'd see that I don't have everything together.

That's the point?

Well..... I suppose you can come up here.

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Well, here it is.... I know it's messy and covered in pain....

You don't care?

Nobody's ever said that before.

What's that?

Oh. I painted that a while back... it's not very good...

You like it? You're just flattering me.

You look serious....

Come down?! Show other people my art? But, that painting is my soul in canvas and oil paint! I can't! They'll laugh at it!

I guess I could try. But if it hurts I'm coming straight back here!

                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~
Who are all these people?

They want to help me? I'm not sure I deserve the help and friendship of all of these people.

Well....here goes nothing......

They like it! They really like it!

Hey.... thanks... I needed to do this.

Do you know if there's a cottage down here I could rent?

Maybe start going to church with you?